To the little firecracker

Remember her?

This week’s Substack post has been inspired Donna Ashworth poem “Remember Her” from her book To the Women.

“She wanted you to buy the ticket.

She wanted you to take that trip.

She definitely wanted you to take that risk

that may have just opened a whole new world.

She is quite smart, this little girl.”

— Donna Ashworth

This really hit me. Not only am I currently doing a lot of work to heal “little Lucy”, but I also want to make her proud.

“Somewhere inside of you, all of you, there is a little firecracker desperate to see more.” — Donna Ashworth

So, inspired by Donna’s words, I’ve decided I’m going to remember the little firecracker inside of me — the one from before life told her the world wasn’t safe, before she was told she was “too much”, before she started believing she wasn’t “enough”.

I’ve decided to set myself a series of solo dates for 2026 — at least one a month, starting in March — in a bid to build my self-confidence and feel more comfortable in my own skin. In a bid to set that little firecracker free.

These solo dates may also become future ingredients to add to my joy list. Because that’s the beauty of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new things — you often discover new sources of joy along the way.

Here’s a list of things I’m thinking of trying. It’s quite ambitious, but what’s the point of playing it safe? I’m not sure I’ll complete them all this year, but I’m going to keep adding ideas as they come to me and see where they lead.

• Visit the Hayward Gallery Threads of Life exhibition and spend thirty minutes writing about the piece that captures my attention the most

• Visit the Zandra Rhodes exhibition and stay overnight in Bath

• Go to a concert or show

• Take myself on a spa day

• Travel to Lisbon or Seville

• Stay somewhere quirky and connected to nature (possibly off-grid — an outdoor bathtub would be ideal!)

• Try something creative I’ve never done before

• Have a photoshoot with Rosie Rainbow (I find having my photo taken really uncomfortable, so this will push me well outside my comfort zone — but I love her style and think it would be magical to capture this moment in my life)

• Go on a dinner date alone — the last time I tried this I didn’t enjoy it, so I’d like to try again, get dressed up, and truly treat myself

• Take a no-maps walk somewhere I’ve never been before

• Plan a local day trip to a place I haven’t visited yet

• Swim in the sea at sunrise, somewhere new

• Go on a rail adventure

Photo of Robbie Williams art at Moco Museum Amsterdam.

This piece of art by Robbie Williams also felt like a message to my younger self, because she truly does deserve every drop of love I’ve got to give her, and in return so does grown up me. (I have the magnet of this piece stuck on my desk wall as a permanent reminder to myself).

I can’t wait to share this journey with you over the coming months, and I’d love to hear any suggestions or ideas you might have.

Until next time.